By Orlando Hernández

     The Gospel for the 18th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Mt 14: 13-21) recounts the story of how our Lord miraculously fed thousands of hungry people. Here are some thoughts on how this Gospel has FED me over the last few days. A friend pointed out that this Gospel illustrates how great God is and how little we are. We come to Him with almost nothing to offer and the Loving One does wonders with it, like He did with the mere five loaves and two fish that the disciples had.      

We pray, we intercede for so many others. We express our concern, like the disciples did for all those hungry people. Often the answer to our prayer is similar to what our Lord says:“Give them some food yourselves.” We think we have so little to give, especially during this pandemic. The little bit of love, attention, or support that we can give to alleviate the spiritual hunger of others, even in a phone call, can be amplified a thousand-fold if we just give it with love and acknowledge that this Love is God Himself.     An explosion of grace can suddenly take place.

This week we took a risk again, and we visited our 98 year old friend Alicia in her home. She has lost so many faculties, and grows weaker every week. She asks on the phone, “ I miss you; when can I see you, my beloved friends?” So we go and sit next to her and just listen to her thoughts and memories, some happy, some bitter. We play old romantic Latin songs that we bring in our iPod.  And then we pray.

She usually initiates our God talk and praise. This week she was especially animated and happy to see us and just thanked God again and again, for this moment, for this extra day of life, for her family, for her faith, and most of all, for the love God has shown her.    

 Our luminous moment was interrupted by the social worker, who came in for his monthly interview. Alicia can hardly see or hear but she was very attentive to the questions that he gave her: “ How are you feeling?” Her answer: “ I feel only joy in the presence of my loving God,” ( no complaints about her physical problems). The second question was, “ How are you eating?” She just said, “fine”, so the social worker tried a different tack : “ What is the food that you enjoy the most?”

She struck us with the light of her answer: “ My favorite food is the constant heavenly Manna that my loving Father let’s fall upon me. I am so blessed!”      

Wow! My wife and I, even the caretaker and the interviewer, felt something extremely special, and for a few seconds there was this bright silence in the room! Tears came to my eyes. I knew it was the power of the Holy Spirit, alive in the heart of this Godly woman. We had actually gone to her house reluctantly and afraid because of the virus, and here God multiplies our meager offering into a heavenly moment!

 “ Give us this day our daily bread,” Jesus teaches us to pray, and to make this prayer come alive through service. That day we got a powerful dose of that Daily Bread of Life that our Lord loves to give us.    

 Yes, He provides us with food for our bodies and our souls. I wrote last time that I would share with you some of my favorite prayer-meditations. This year we are celebrating the 300th Anniversary of the founding of the Passionist Order by our patron, St. Paul of the Cross. Here is some of his advice on how to pray. It goes very well with the message of the Gospel we were reflecting upon. He writes:        

  “Let the immense Good rest in your soul. God in you and you in God. A divine work. I don’t know how to say it, but God feeds on your spirit and your spirit feeds on the Spirit of God. My food is Christ and I am His.” (Letter 752- 5/25/1751)      

   This prayer is short and simple, but sometimes I can spend over a half-hour in this delightful state. It is a wonderful “ spiritual communion prayer.” I am fascinated at the thought that God cares to actually taste me as my spirit dissolves into that vast, “immense Good”.  

   Even before I pray, I pray! I pray that I might feel just a little of what Psalm 131 expresses so beautifully:       

 “Lord, My heart is not proud; nor are my eyes haughty. I do 

    Years ago, when I spent my first “Holy Week Retreat” at the Bishop Molloy Retreat House in Jamaica, Queens, I was especially troubled by the Passion of our Lord Jesus Christ. Perhaps because my mother had died recently, I even found little consolation in the joy of the Easter Vigil. It had been a long, sorrowful, sleepless week and I fell into a tired, troubled sleep on that Saturday night after reading the Gospel (Jn 20: 1-2, 11-18) that is read on the feast day of St. Mary Magdalene, her experience at the tomb.

    I kept on waking from the same dream. In this dream many of us had fallen into a numb, restless slumber on the floor of the Upper Room. I was one of the women, and I was anxious about getting safely to our Lord’s tomb before daybreak so we could anoint His body. Mary Magdalene kept on waking us during the night but it was still too early.

When I finally woke up in the Retreat House room it was already day and I felt the sadness of being left behind by the others. It was only a dream, but it had felt so real, so urgent. Still half-asleep I imagined Magdalene all alone  ( without me!)  out there in the dark streets of Jerusalem going through an experience like the one described  in the first reading for the Feast:

 “On my bed at night I sought Him whom my heart loves-
  I sought Him but I did not find Him.
 I will rise then and go about the city;
 In the streets and crossings I will seek  Him whom my heart loves.
  I sought Him but I could not find Him. “
                                                                                    ( Song of Songs 3:1-2)

    I imagined her sitting within the dark, empty tomb, weeping hopelessly. In my reverie I share in her grief. It overwhelms me. Outside of the cave, the crimson dawn shines, and a voice asks: “Woman why are you weeping?” Like her, I pour out my bitter grief.  

And then, He calls me by  name. I know that Voice. It is my Beloved, my Rabbouni! It is Easter Sunday! My Lord lives and loves me! I run out and embrace Him with all my might. He hugs me right back, because He loves me so much, before He gently pushes me away and rises to His Father in joy and glory. It is going to be a wonderful day. On that last day of the retreat I would  find relief and hope. Thank you Resurrected Lord!

    Mariam of Magdala, the wonderful disciple, experienced this and so much more. She must have been rejuvenated and re-energized by this sacred experience. Her Beloved tells her, “go to my brothers and tell them.” She is sent to announce to them that Christ is risen. She is sent by Him. That is why she is called the Apostle to the Apostles.

I am so happy that Pope Francis elevated her “memorial” to a “ feast day” in the Church calendar, giving her the same level of celebration as the male apostles. I love and admire her for her courage, her faith, and her wonderful devotion to our Savior. She is such a great example to me. I imagine her in Christ, young, beautiful and strong, a role model that I share with my granddaughters. Her story makes me think of the first two paragraphs of Pope Francis’ apostolic exhortation to the young, CHRISTUS VIVIT:

    1. “Christ is alive! He is our hope, and in a wonderful way He brings youth to our world, and everything He touches becomes young, new, full of life. The very first words, then, that I would like to    say to every young Christian are these: Christ is alive and He wants you to be alive!
    2. “He is in you, He is with you and He never abandons you. However far you may wonder, He is always there, the Risen One. He calls you and He waits for you to return to Him and start over again. When you feel you are growing old out of sorrow, resentment or fear, doubt or failure, He will always be there to restore your strength and your hope.”

Orlando Hernandez

For this week’s homily please watch the video below.