Retreat with St. Paul of the Cross- Day 12


     On December 4, 1720 Paolo Daneo writes: “I was recollected during prayer and also experienced a mild restlessness in my thoughts. At holy Communion I had much sweetness. My dear God gave me infused knowledge of the joy which the soul will have when we see Him face to face, when it will be united with him in holy love.     Then I felt sorrow to see Him offended and I told Him that I would willingly be torn to pieces for a single soul. Indeed, I felt that I would die when I saw the loss of so many souls who do not  experience the fruit of the Passion of my Jesus.      When God gives me this deep understanding of the joy felt in seeing Him face to face, that is when united to Him, the soul can no longer bear to remain in the body, so to speak, because with a deep light of faith it sees itself in the infinite love of God; it feels a wish to be separated from the body.      I remember I once said before that the body is the chain of the soul and holds it in bondage; and until God breaks it by the death of the body, the soul cannot fly to union with the perfect vision of its beloved Good.


     Orlando’s entry: Paolo has a much “better” spiritual day— recollected in prayer with a joyful taste of heaven at Communion, with intense sorrow and compassion for none-believers, and the “deep understanding of the joy of seeing Him face to face.” With “a deep light of faith” the soul “sees itself in the infinite love of God.” Paolo actually looks forward to death itself— the ultimate prayer experience of union with God! After 12 days in the desert our Lord has taken such mercy upon this young saint and rewarded him with this deep, wonderful, mystical experience.      Lately I find myself undergoing moments that approximate these great prayer experiences, always at Communion, and  then suddenly feeling great sorrow for so many people I know who are unaware that there is a God who loves us so tremendously. Please Lord enable them to see and feel that which You so lovingly give me. Thank You Lord, for this forty-day retreat! Thank You for Your “deep light of faith!”


     Berta’s entry: Dear Jesus, today in his diary entry, one of Paolo’s statements hit very close to me. He felt totally united with our God, where his soul would be face to face with Him in love.But then Paolo felt guilty, and felt that he had offended our God by thinking this. He felt sorrow for all those souls that don’t experience the love that our God has to offer.      During this Pandemic I have been “in a desert” most of the time. Only now, doing this retreat with my husband, am I allowing my soul to reach out to You, my Lord Jesus. It has been very fulfilling for me. I feel that once again I’m building a relationship with You, my God!      But then this diary entry points out to me that I am neglecting the people around me.  I’m neglecting being the voice, hands, and feet of You, Jesus, here on earth. I’m neglecting sharing You, my God. I’m enclosed within myself and my needs. My cocoon is well built; it’s impenetrable. St. Paul said he would die for those souls that don’y know You, my God. I’m not there yet! I need You to open the cocoon from the outside and pull me out there. Ready or not, here I come! And yet I want to be ready, and You,my God, are the only one that can help me! I turn it over to You. Minister to me, and in so doing You will help me to minister Your love and Your Word to others! Thank You,  Father, Son and Holy Spirit! I trust in You.

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