by Orlando Hernandez

     In the Gospel (Lk 9:22-25) for the Thursday after Ash Wednesday, our Lord warns His disciples about His coming Passion, death, and resurrection. This passage in Luke comes after Peter’s confession of Jesus as Messiah. Jesus seems to be telling them that this Messiah must suffer greatly before saving us, and this salvation involves much more than just freedom from Roman oppression. Our Lord is preparing them (and us) for their own Lenten observance on the road to the Passion that is coming:

     “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?” (Lk 9:23-25)

     This passage is a tremendous challenge for us, a powerful set of instructions for the season of Lent and, actually, for our entire lives if we want to go all the way with Him. Can we deny ourselves of so many pleasures, opinions, angers, resentments, luxuries, and caprices? Can we lose this life of comfort in “the world” for the mysterious promise that He gives us of the bliss to be experienced when we find our true life, our true selves in Him? That’s the goal I seek! But, oh boy, the sacrifices to be made along the way sure seem like the carrying of a heavy, painful cross. I don’t know if I can make it!    

 Now, here I am sort of changing the subject in order not to face this inner cross that Jesus asks me to carry. And yet it is related to it. For years now I have had this urge to make a large wooden cross that I can carry during Lent, take it perhaps in front of church buildings after Mass(with the Pastor’s permission!), or through Central Park or Times Square (probably need a police permit!) and just seeing what happens. This year I somehow forced myself to make this cross. It is 10 feet tall but just heavy enough for me, I hope(I attached small wheels to the bottom so it will not drag painfully on the concrete!).    

 But then I asked God, “Why am I doing this? Is it an empty act? Is it just stubbornness, or the desire to show off ?  How can I do some good in Your name?” Finally an idea “came” to me. Why not have Sharpie markers to lend to people so they can write something on the cross? A prayer of love perhaps, since the Cross is the place where God’s great love for us is so powerfully expressed; or just a prayer of gratitude for this incredible Love that gives us life daily. The Cross is also the place of forgiveness. If they want, they can write a prayer of personal contrition, or just write the name of a person they need to forgive! The Cross is the place of healing, where “It was our infirmities that He bore, our sufferings that He endured….. by His stripes we were healed.” (Is 53:4a,5b) Perhaps folks can write the name of a person in need of healing, even themselves. God can inspire them in different, unexpected ways. Maybe young people will be attracted to help me carry it around. Who knows?  I will let you readers know how it went.    

 I am looking forward to this. When I pick up this cross, after I get used to the weight and pain, and realize that my back and knees can take it, I feel a strange peace, a heightened awareness, a sense of God’s presence. I wonder if Simon the Cyrenian (in the Gospel of Luke) felt this way in spite of the horrendous situation that he was forced into as he followed the wounded Jesus to Calvary.  I hope this “mission” of mine will touch people’s hearts and that this home-made cross will remind them of God’s unfathomable mercy and love for all of us.   

 Part of me realizes how unworthy I am to even dare to try this. What keeps me going is the thought of that daily cross that Jesus offers me in the Gospel. This personal, invisible cross is a different sign, which shows me that this Lent is the perfect time to lose a little more of my old, selfish life, to deny myself of things that keep me from the intimacy that God wants to share with me. Jesus offers me this spiritual cross, the place where I die into the loving arms of my God in order to resurrect in His joy.

This cross can be found in every person that we meet, even in my wooden cross. But most of all it can be found in the very center of prayer, where the Lord repeatedly gives us His gentle heart, His easy yoke, and the soothing burden of carrying His Love to the world.     Lord, give us the strength and perseverance to seek You in our very hearts, every moment of the day.
Orlando Hernández